Friday, April 19, 2013

Yesterday I picked Robs up from school and didn't have the heart to go back home. The kitchen sink was full of dishes. The pirates' beds were not made. The bathroom needed a serious cleansing. And then there was the regular old housework... "No" I thought to myself, "I think I'd rather die." So I drove to my mom's house. We played in her basement and drove cars until Steve got home from work and then came home to make dinner. Of course, after driving cars for a couple hours, the dishes seemed bearable, the beds seemed make-able, and right before I sat down to type I gave that bathroom a serious cleanse. 

I haven't been taking pictures. I haven't been recording our life. I haven't been running. I haven't been sleeping. Quite honestly, I haven't been happy. I've been showering, breathing and eating, of course, but life has been so far from normal... And it's been cold. I think at some point I let a lot of things go. (And then watched my inner-perfectionist crumble... )

The truth is I've had to really search for something to keep me laughing. I've had the blues before, but never to this extent. I have a new respect for Abraham Lincoln and anyone else who has ever had to fight through any kind of depression. And in the middle of all of this I didn't think any of it was worth documenting. "Why?" I thought, "as soon as everything is back to normal..." But in an epiphany, or a sleepless night, or a low of lows (so many categories from which to choose) I realized this is life. And if I document my fight to regain normalcy when normal as-I-know-it does not exist - someday it might just help.

So I posted a picture of the pirates driving cars - because yesterday was the end of my blues. 

This. Is. Life. (In a variety of colors...)

I have a bike trainer that I use to cardio those blues away for a coveted forty-five minutes each day. (And its helping. I've been working up a testimonial...) And we're over the plague that had us down for two and a half weeks. And I no longer have to wear the broken foot shoe, (Although my foot is still broken, and running / heels are still very much on the distant horizon.) And that bathroom finally got a serious cleanse...

So. I'm back. 

And it feels so gooooood.... 

1 comment:

  1. Moms are the best. Yesterday during a serious conversation about construction workers on the side of the road and careers, Logan confessed to me that he would probably not be a dad after all because he loves grandma so much. It took me a few minutes to work out what he was saying. Then I promised him that grandma would always be his grandma, even when he grew up. I was glad I could set him straight. We have the best jobs ever...even on the blue days! Hope things start to be 'normal' again for you real soon!! I've missed your adorable photos and your adorable self on here! ;)