(photo taken as we were leaving for Louisiana)
I like to be positive.
I try to be positive.
I want to be positive...
But in this moment...
I am not positive.
For almost two years I have counted every single day...
As if marking them off would somehow get me closer to a departure.
I've tried to fill them with fun... and good... and 'make the best of it'..
But always in the back of my mind-
I want OUT.
And then today we came thiiiiiiiis close to finally getting out...
Literally... the timing had to be just right to make our departure NOT work.
It was perfectly timed.
I'm going to be positive...
In a moment I will be heading back to filling my day with fun... and good... and even happy...
Because in the grand scheme of things, I know we have it good.
I know we're blessed...
But when I finally do leave here-
I will be celebrating.
And you will most likely hear the echo.
Hang in there, girl. I admire your positivity despite your trials. I've got nothing more to add that you haven't already thought about or heard said except that I know you can do tough things. In my mind, you're pretty much invincible.
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ReplyDeleteAwe... sad. I remember when I used to feel like that. Then something inside of me broke and somehow I think I'm starting to...like...it here? I really hope that happens to you, or you get out sooner than later! In the mean time you should come to Ruston to play more often.
ReplyDelete(Sorry about the other comment, it was the same one only didn't make sense because I suck at typing.)